can't keep a blogger down...

I'm writing again, albeit sporadically I am guessing.
Thank you to the well wishers, and supporters, because it has helped So Very much.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank You.

*******EDITED TO REMOVE LINK*******

It's been ummm... Interesting?

Hi all in bloggerland.
This ride that began with the hope of an adoption has been a life changing experience. I have learned to love a country so far from my own, and in spite of the negative representation its culture (read: my in-laws) has had in my personal life. I am so happy that I followed my heart and it led me to Viet Nam. I am grateful that I have connected to 1/2 of my son's heritage and I know that someday we will visit, I hope someday we will also welcome a sibling from VN as well. Unfortunately it will not be the way I'd hoped.
My entire world crumbled yesterday. Our marriage had cracks, what marriage doesn't, but it just shattered. All it took was 3 words. I am at this moment in shock. I thought K~ had been having emotional issues, family issues, or a mid-life crisis. I've been trying to be supportive, helpful, accommodating. I never brought up the adoption because I didn't want him to concentrate on that, when he needed to concentrate on his own issues. A~ and I went without sooo much. I thought the only thing I needed from him was some support in return. Little did I know.
If I had a time machine...
Now things are falling into place, all of the questions being answered. Well if I ever wanted "that one thing" to end it he gave it to me on a silver platter. I've been on the phone to clinics and lawyers all night and all morning.
Hopefully this is a karmic cleansing. Like being re-born.

This is the last post to this blog.

My best wishes and thanks to you all that have stopped by and those who have given input. At somepoint in the future I will probably blog again, about life - new life, and I'll post a link.

Thanks and Smooth speedy adoptions to you all!

House for sale, a house for sale!

We've had 7 or 8 people through our house, no buyers yet. The housing market is so dismal around here that buyers think, and therefore actually do, have no time line. Because NO ONE is buying! Our realtor (Ed) stopped by yesterday to discuss whether or not we need to drop the price to get more activity. He said he just can't be sure, in his 30 some years he has never seen such a market. He said that his clients that are looking are really arrogant picky. He said he's been very busy running around showing houses but that he has yet to close on a house this season. They are all looking for the "perfect" house at the cheapest price and feel in no rush. Which I guess since it seems all buyers don't seem to be in a rush, they don't need to be in a rush, yet. I blame the media. ;-)
So, I guess we're going to keep the price till it sells. We're not over priced by any means, and would accept any reasonable offer. Ed also thinks that staying at this price is fine, since there's been no mention by the people through that the price was out of whack. They have had the weirdest critiques though! For instance, we live in an older neighborhood, mature trees, parks, great school down the street, and the location is awesome. The houses were built in the 1950s and the majority are ramblers that have one car garages and galley style kitchens. One person through said they were considering our house but they didn't like the kitchen or the garage, but they love the neighborhood! Uh? Have ya looked around here? They ALL have one car garages and galley kitchens! The weirdest was, the woman loved the upstairs, the layout, and the use of space (?) but she thought the basement was too dark. Wha?! It's a BASEMENT!?(and all the walls are painted white!) That is so strange. Maybe we need a Plexiglas ceiling in the basement to let some light in?
I just don't understand the mentality. When we were looking both for this house and our first house we wanted unfinished stuff, so we could do it ourselves and build instant equity by doing even small things. And honestly I think that wanting a perfect house with nothing to do to it in this market is a little foolish, back when we bought our homes you got instant equity without lifting a finger because the market kept going up so much. Now the market is stagnant and in order to get equity you need to do work for it. So seems to me you'd be better off with a house that needs some cosmetics, than one that's "perfect".

All I can say right now is that (if this is a karmic thing) to anyone who has ever wished bad upon me, or who I've pissed off, okay okay. Uncle. And sure I'll take it, I'll deal with it. But man, this has been rough. In some weird way this may end up being the best thing to ever happen to us, because it's stripped us to the core. Things have a way of revealing themselves and resolving huge issues. I have never been this far down, and hope I never will be again, but it has given me what I needed, a new perspective. I know there are many things I will never do again, and many others I will do differently. Especially how I relate to money!!!

My new addiction is myspace, yeah I'm a little late on the bandwagon, but I'm not on it for the social aspects, I have accepted my social ineptitude. I loooooooove listening to music on there, there are so many unsigned amazing bands and some really weird stuff too. Love it.

WAY off topic? or PURE FLUFF!

I have no good news to report, but I feel really bad about neglecting the blog so I have decided to be utterly ridiculous and chime in on pop culture. It's sad when you have nothing to write about but the goings on at The View. Any whoooo....So I read tonight that Rosie is leaving the view, or rather not returning to the view after her "day off" to "celebrate" her wife's b-day. I think she took the day off from fighting, my guess, just so happens that Kelly had a b-day. I don't blame her. My feelings about Rosie, well I loved her show when she had it on, until about the last season or two, when it seemed things got icky. Have no idea why, just seemed like she wasn't having fun and got kinda I don't know, angry, defensive? Having your opinions picked apart would do that to many I am guessing. Especially opinions you have real strong love and conviction for. When she was hired at "The View" I was skeptical. I wasn't sure who they'd be getting, the funny one or the angry one. I have to say that I was impressed by her, although I don't share all of her opinions, I respected most of them and thought that for the most part she respected others' opinions more than I would have thought she would. I guess I was surprised that she played nice with the other kids as much as she did, and I grew to really like her being on a show again. Now, I have never been a big fan of Elizabeth Hassel(something) lets say EH it's easier. I felt that she came across as republican for republican's sake, not informed and well thought out, and she didn't seem to be one to seek out differing views to make educated decisions. I am not republican, may never be republican, but I can respect someone who has differing views, if they can back them up. Don't just say "so and so says", do the research to be able to form an opinion. I never got the feeling EH did much of that. It seems more like my Dad says..., my husband says..., so therefore __. Prior to Rosie being on the show EH was an annoying gnat, and the other women would just swat her comments out the window, they'd change the subject, they'd move along. When Rosie came on she challenged EH and asked her to substantiate her opinions with something. THAT was interesting! That made EH more interesting! That gave EH a voice! Not one I agree with but, I can respect her opinion more now than I ever would have when she was just a gnat(a really annoying one). So the big blow out, I saw it on youtube, and I saw the thing that started it too. Personally I think they both have points. I think that Rosie didn't clarify enough, and by now she should know how this world works, unfortunately if you give them an opening they'll take it and twist it, she needs to work on choosing words that give less to work with. She left a grand canyon sized quote for them to work with in terms of how widely they could misinterpret things(but the people that did are a**holes for skewing her intentions). And EH shouldn't have to defend Rosie's words, but she should be able to tell her friend whether or not she feels that what was said by others was an accurate representation of Rosie's meaning. And that sadly enough was something EH wouldn't do. In that moment I felt so sorry for Rosie, like she needs it, but I did. In that moment it seemed as though all of her insecurities were right there on her sleeve, and in my opinion EH seemed to take advantage, maybe it was an in the heat of the moment thing. Maybe it was getting back at Rosie for being so vocal and challenging? Who knows. But it was sad that they didn't go to commercial break to give those women a time out!
I have a friend like EH and while I am no Rosie by any means, I am democrat and I do get pretty passionate about politics. My friend is not passionate, and has not done research to back up her opinions, and while I love her dearly I do not respect her political opinions because of this and therefore refuse to speak to her about politics. I do however respect her as a person. I cannot change her mind and she cannot change mine, to get into even the smallest political debate is dangerous. So we agreed way early on to not talk about it.
Rosie and EH should have done the same. Unless of course they thought they could weather that, which is IMHO overly optimistic. As close as I am to my friend I wouldn't chance it. It was so odd watching the 2 of them argue! ugh. I just imagine how difficult it'd be to say... have a fight put on youtube and played over and over, or some bored woman talking about it on her silly blog. But I'm not on TV! And I think that both of them are brave for putting their opinions out there, even risking whatever friendship they may have. They're both on waaaaayy opposite ends of the teeter totter though aren't they? I will miss Rosie being on The View. She was outspoken and loud and in the end very genuine, human, and likable. I think that EH should thank her for giving her a voice she would have never ever had, had Rosie not challenged her. Which in the end made EH more likable too. Even though she's WRONG! ;-)

Those people that challenge us are the people we learn the most from.

I need a little what makes me happy...
What makes me happy today:
*Butterflies chasing each other in the back yard
*A~'s Pre-K journal! Hilarious!
*Hilarity: as in "that's just hilarity!" an A~ ism.
*That K~ took A~ to the Dr. and I got to hang out and chat with mom.

optimistically pessimistic

Hi there, Hope all has been well in blog land.
Things are going here. How well depends on the hour, the day and the mail. I haven't written much lately because I've been hoping that I could be more upbeat, and silver lining about all of this. I am trying. And I am usually perpetually optimistic. The past 2 years, but especially the last year has been a huge test for my optimism. So the latest development, and I'm sorry but it's not the silver lining I was hoping for, is that our city has implemented a new ordinance to comply with watershed issues, it was enacted on Jan 1st I believe and it requires all homes that are being sold to undergo a point of sale sewer inspection. We're now looking at a bill for between 6 to 10 thousand dollars to replace our entire line out to the street. I had been under the impression that this was to be a typical inspection like those in other communities looking to eliminate sewer run off and therefore eliminate the surcharges they are given by the treatment facility. In other cities it's as simple as making sure no one has illegal sump pump or drain tile hookups, in our city they are being IMHO very anal. They have hit us with a no compliance for tree roots and an old pipe that connects to NOTHING. But even if they aren't being anal and this needs to be done, the city has absolutely nothing in place to help those of us who are unable to pay. My mom wants to sell her home too, eventually, because they've raised the taxes so much and she's been disabled for the past 14 years so she cannot afford the costs of living in her nearly paid off home! What will she do!? She can't afford to take out a loan, and no one would approve her! She's not selling for profit, she'd be selling because she HAS to! Like us, we're selling because we HAVE to, we have no 401k left to borrow from (a suggestion by a council member), we can't afford to live here so we're not going to take out a home equity loan, so what then?
Ugh. Rich people. We live in a pretty well off city, but it's a city with a variety of homes and variety of people, that's why we liked it. But the council has acted as though everyone has the same income as they do and they see absolutely no problem with expecting us to foot the entire 10 grand. Oooooh, reading the minutes of the city council's meetings is infuriating! Plus, they could have signed up for a program through the Mpls council that would have reimbursed them for work done, $5,000 per private lateral line, and they could have passed that $ on to the homeowner to offset costs. But either they didn't- leaving us in the lurch, or they did- and are pocketing the rebate. They also tore up our yard and streets last year to replace them and the main sewers all the while knowing that this was coming, and they didn't even warn us! At the very least they could have voted to figure it into a home owner's street assessment(which I believe they are now thinking of doing for the last remaining few streets left). They knew this was happening for over 2 years!
Anyhow, we are most likely going to have to go to a city council meeting and speak. It's so utterly ridiculous I have no words. Except to call the council members pompous asses! Which I won't to their faces, but will gladly do under my breath.
Money, I HATE money. All of this, my life is revolving around money. It's enough to make me go be a hermit and eat tree bark.

Ahhhh at least I still have remnants of my sarcastic sense of humor.