WAY off topic? or PURE FLUFF!

I have no good news to report, but I feel really bad about neglecting the blog so I have decided to be utterly ridiculous and chime in on pop culture. It's sad when you have nothing to write about but the goings on at The View. Any whoooo....So I read tonight that Rosie is leaving the view, or rather not returning to the view after her "day off" to "celebrate" her wife's b-day. I think she took the day off from fighting, my guess, just so happens that Kelly had a b-day. I don't blame her. My feelings about Rosie, well I loved her show when she had it on, until about the last season or two, when it seemed things got icky. Have no idea why, just seemed like she wasn't having fun and got kinda I don't know, angry, defensive? Having your opinions picked apart would do that to many I am guessing. Especially opinions you have real strong love and conviction for. When she was hired at "The View" I was skeptical. I wasn't sure who they'd be getting, the funny one or the angry one. I have to say that I was impressed by her, although I don't share all of her opinions, I respected most of them and thought that for the most part she respected others' opinions more than I would have thought she would. I guess I was surprised that she played nice with the other kids as much as she did, and I grew to really like her being on a show again. Now, I have never been a big fan of Elizabeth Hassel(something) lets say EH it's easier. I felt that she came across as republican for republican's sake, not informed and well thought out, and she didn't seem to be one to seek out differing views to make educated decisions. I am not republican, may never be republican, but I can respect someone who has differing views, if they can back them up. Don't just say "so and so says", do the research to be able to form an opinion. I never got the feeling EH did much of that. It seems more like my Dad says..., my husband says..., so therefore __. Prior to Rosie being on the show EH was an annoying gnat, and the other women would just swat her comments out the window, they'd change the subject, they'd move along. When Rosie came on she challenged EH and asked her to substantiate her opinions with something. THAT was interesting! That made EH more interesting! That gave EH a voice! Not one I agree with but, I can respect her opinion more now than I ever would have when she was just a gnat(a really annoying one). So the big blow out, I saw it on youtube, and I saw the thing that started it too. Personally I think they both have points. I think that Rosie didn't clarify enough, and by now she should know how this world works, unfortunately if you give them an opening they'll take it and twist it, she needs to work on choosing words that give less to work with. She left a grand canyon sized quote for them to work with in terms of how widely they could misinterpret things(but the people that did are a**holes for skewing her intentions). And EH shouldn't have to defend Rosie's words, but she should be able to tell her friend whether or not she feels that what was said by others was an accurate representation of Rosie's meaning. And that sadly enough was something EH wouldn't do. In that moment I felt so sorry for Rosie, like she needs it, but I did. In that moment it seemed as though all of her insecurities were right there on her sleeve, and in my opinion EH seemed to take advantage, maybe it was an in the heat of the moment thing. Maybe it was getting back at Rosie for being so vocal and challenging? Who knows. But it was sad that they didn't go to commercial break to give those women a time out!
I have a friend like EH and while I am no Rosie by any means, I am democrat and I do get pretty passionate about politics. My friend is not passionate, and has not done research to back up her opinions, and while I love her dearly I do not respect her political opinions because of this and therefore refuse to speak to her about politics. I do however respect her as a person. I cannot change her mind and she cannot change mine, to get into even the smallest political debate is dangerous. So we agreed way early on to not talk about it.
Rosie and EH should have done the same. Unless of course they thought they could weather that, which is IMHO overly optimistic. As close as I am to my friend I wouldn't chance it. It was so odd watching the 2 of them argue! ugh. I just imagine how difficult it'd be to say... have a fight put on youtube and played over and over, or some bored woman talking about it on her silly blog. But I'm not on TV! And I think that both of them are brave for putting their opinions out there, even risking whatever friendship they may have. They're both on waaaaayy opposite ends of the teeter totter though aren't they? I will miss Rosie being on The View. She was outspoken and loud and in the end very genuine, human, and likable. I think that EH should thank her for giving her a voice she would have never ever had, had Rosie not challenged her. Which in the end made EH more likable too. Even though she's WRONG! ;-)

Those people that challenge us are the people we learn the most from.

I need a little what makes me happy...
What makes me happy today:
*Butterflies chasing each other in the back yard
*A~'s Pre-K journal! Hilarious!
*Hilarity: as in "that's just hilarity!" an A~ ism.
*That K~ took A~ to the Dr. and I got to hang out and chat with mom.

Part two of the letter, and mere ramblings

Hi,
So I was, and still am a bit emotional about adoption, admittedly. I have had some time to cool off and read the groups, there's a few very good discussions going on about this subject (the Jolie adoption) on at least 2 of the groups. Everyone has very good opinions, even if they may differ from my own. ;-)
I would like to say that I feel personally that if I were Angelina Jolie (AJ) and if I had gone through all of the usual things that we all go through to adopt, I personally would be angry at how adoptive parents are treated and I would let people know. I will always maintain that due diligence is very very important, but you will never be able to convince me that these fees are reasonable. That the hoops are all for the sole purpose of protecting children and not for profit.
Would I be happy to be fast tracked? Yes. Is it right. No. Would I do it, or would I simply state, no thank you? I don't know, I'll never be in that position. What I would hope that I'd do is educate myself, become aware, and with that I would make others aware of how muddled and exorbitant the adoption world has become. It came as a huge shock for us. And yes I admit I was filled with ideas of finding our child in a book of pictures or going to the orphanage and picking him/her out. When we were told we'd have nothing to do with that, the hugest part of the process, I was floored. Then there are the stories of things gone wrong. Many, many stories. Too many in my opinion for something that should be so closely regulated. There are great discrepancies. and what is the standard for agency workers, or owners? Those are questions I'd ask, if I had money and influence, because if I asked them now plain lil' old me, I'd fear for my adoption. Maybe it's paranoid but I bet the families who are in litigation right now understand exactly what I am worried about. I bet the families who one agency has put through the ringer, who when asked questions or voiced concerns were told they needed anger management and counseling, know why.

I think it's amazing the good that celebrities can do, if they choose. I think that it's great that AJ adopted. I don't begrudge her anything, her money and fame come with complications I'm sure I can't fathom, I am glad she has a family and glad for her that she has been able to do it without the complications I myself have experienced, I wouldn't wish a negative experience on anyone, although it may have sounded as though I do. I do have a lot of questions for those involved, not just her. She says she followed the rules, but I question the time lines. I really really wish that she had been more open in print, in a blog, in press releases, or in one single interview about her own process. I question whether things were done for her because of who she is, and without her knowledge (which is cutting her a lot of slack). I feel it is HER responsibility to know what the reality is, to not rely on the honesty of those she hires. I am supposed to know who I hire, I am supposed to know that the agency I choose has an ethical system in place here and in country. I have been told time and again by many an adoptive parent that we all owe it to each other to stick together to bring about change, that we all need to do our own digging and we all need to educate ourselves. Do I get a free pass if I donate to UNICEF? Do I get a free pass if I'm attractive? Do I get a free pass if I'm just too busy to bother with the research? Can I claim ignorance.

I do think that every single person who adopts becomes an ambassador for adoption whether you like it or not. It just happens that those who are in the public eye have more eyes watching.

It's hard to say that I absolutely wouldn't resent so many strangers wanting to know my time line, but it's fair to say I wouldn't since I started this blog! The entire reason I started this blog is that I want to show the good AND the bad. The bumps the ugly bits, everything. Because I felt soooo lost and still do sometimes, and if my vents, naivety, ramblings, sorrow and (hopefully ending with the) elation of bringing home a daughter, will help anyone feel like there's a kindred spirit out there and they are not crazy, then I have done what I set out to do.

I would like to add that this is not really entirely directed at AJ alone, I have always been irritated with celebrities who adopt. I wish that just one of them would tell the truth, and if it proves me wrong, if they get no special treatment, so be it!!! But at least they will have done it and they will begin to erase this adoption fantasy they portray. I was pissed at meg ryan when she adopted a girl from china out of the blue without ever letting anyone know after the fact that she waited 12-18 months for her (if in fact she did). Or Rosie O for touting the greatness of adoption without ever talking about the difficulties. Don't even get me started on Madonna. LOL! But my best guess is the reason they have never done these things is because they have never experienced them, so it isn't an issue for them. My story has very little in common with theirs. Hopefully the ending will be exactly the same.