I'm sure most parents can relate, I can't get much done when A~ is around. Anything that requires thought or concentration anyway, which is why I end up blogging at work (naughty) or late at night. Work has picked up a tiny bit so there's less opportunity to update the blog.
I'm not sure if anyone would remember that I mentioned that K~ and I were thinking of moving to Viet Nam after selling the house, but we're still thinking about it. Oddly enough it sounds more appealing now, not less. I have been addicted to reading expat blogs. I'm going to post links to some of them. Maybe not tonight but soon. Anyway, it would be a huge huge change. Ya, think?! However, I think it would be for the better, as in we'd appreciate what we have here that much more and the added bonus would be that we'd have gained knowledge of our family's heritage (I say ours because it's a part of my husbands and sons and therefore mine too). And I really have little desire to live in Sweden, Norway or Germany (all my mutt-like heritage) which are all a little too similar in climate to MN. I'm hoping to avoid snow for any length of time, for hopefully the rest of my life. I will gladly visit any or all one day, but live there? No.
Not to mention that in VN my husband will get off the plane and look into a sea of familiar/similar faces. And I really want that for him. I also want to know what it feels like to not see those faces, to be the odd man out. I know that from everything I've read so far that the Vietnamese are for the most part very kind and accommodating to foreigners (for many reasons), at least that's what I hear. So I imagine I would not be subjected to the sorts of racism that K~ or others have faced here in the US, but I think that the fact that I will be aware of my race, my pale skin and odd body, will in itself be a very different experience and will hopefully give me some insight and understanding. I may not walk a mile, but at least a few blocks (in his shoes). It would be an amazing experience and when I get scared and think "what the hell are you thinking" I realize that I would never ever regret going, but I would always wonder "what if" if I didn't. That is what keeps this crazy scary idea alive in my brain. It's almost all I think about, when I'm not thinking about how to adopt without any money. ;-)
Ahhhh adoption. how do you adopt from VN while in VN as an American citizen? I am sure it's complicated as hell and twice as much, between the US and VN governments, they could F*k up a junk yard. They've made great strides in the adoption department (sarcasm). Just when I think I have something figured out, some big pile of poo lands in my in box from Yahoo groups. And just like anything it doesn't go away until you deal with it. So I read what I don't want to hear, and pray that the next round of group daily digests holds better news. Well, they might get things straightened out by the time I'm a grandma. That doesn't help us now. Sorry, don't mean to be negative, but it's been so difficult to figure out what to do. I really can't see us waiting 2 more years to bring our daughter home. And the simple fact is long waits or more clients does not necessarily mean ethical, good service provider or less in it for the money. All it means is long wait. And things would be a lot easier if I were ignorant cattle. But I'm not. At least I hope not. I know that in reality things would not be easier to be ignorant because someday the questions will come and if I didn't ask questions now I'd have a lot more to answer when Laurna got older. Sometimes it's hard when you know you should be asking something, but you have no idea what the magic question is; the question that will get responses from the groups or the question that will get the truth from an agency.
Looks like I've got a little more time to figure this stuff out, and hopefully do more than toss a dart at a wall plastered with the Hanoi Embassy's list of licensed agencies (minus a couple "hell nos"). Which is a very tempting thing.
Good luck to anyone in the process.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
On the adoption front
As far as the adoption is concerned I have finally been able to go back on the Yahoo groups and read about others' progress, I mostly lurk since I can't quite let myself put both feet on the path. I love hearing the stories of families being united and am glad to see the progress of VN adoptions in general, but admit it is hard and I do have a sense of why not us? What keeps me going is that I do believe it will be us, eventually.
It's taken a long time to get the house ready and we'll be putting it on the market in the next 2 weeks. Who knows how long it'll take to sell in this market, I think it's a great house and would sell quickly, I'm sure most home sellers think that.
In the meantime I am hoping to get the ball rolling on fundraising for the adoption. At this point we need to raise funds from beginning to end, and we'll open a savings account for it. My first thought is to send out a mass letter to all relatives and family friends. Next thought is to have some sort of fund raising event, which I've never done. I see we get some visitors here, quiet ones ;-), but if any of you have ideas please comment!
And if any one's BTDT in adoption fundraising or similar please share!
On a separate note, has anyone had to light a fire under their DH's butt? I have always been open and honest about what kind of family I hoped for, 2 kids. He's never been gung-ho on the parenting thing, but I figured most men aren't like most women, and he's amazing with A~ and would be a great dad to #2. Well obviously having #2 has been a little more difficult than simply knocking me up, so he's 100% OK with adopting, especially from VN, but he's just in no hurry (he's from the Scarlett O'hara "I'll think of that tomorrow" school of thought on everything). I feel there is a time issue for us, I had hoped our kids would be close in age, that's not happening, and I hoped to be done having kids by now, that's not happening. So I hope to get the adoption rolling ASAP since as we all know adoptions have a way of not going the way you hope or as fast as you hope, but at least we'll have things in motion.
Any advice?
It's taken a long time to get the house ready and we'll be putting it on the market in the next 2 weeks. Who knows how long it'll take to sell in this market, I think it's a great house and would sell quickly, I'm sure most home sellers think that.
In the meantime I am hoping to get the ball rolling on fundraising for the adoption. At this point we need to raise funds from beginning to end, and we'll open a savings account for it. My first thought is to send out a mass letter to all relatives and family friends. Next thought is to have some sort of fund raising event, which I've never done. I see we get some visitors here, quiet ones ;-), but if any of you have ideas please comment!
And if any one's BTDT in adoption fundraising or similar please share!
On a separate note, has anyone had to light a fire under their DH's butt? I have always been open and honest about what kind of family I hoped for, 2 kids. He's never been gung-ho on the parenting thing, but I figured most men aren't like most women, and he's amazing with A~ and would be a great dad to #2. Well obviously having #2 has been a little more difficult than simply knocking me up, so he's 100% OK with adopting, especially from VN, but he's just in no hurry (he's from the Scarlett O'hara "I'll think of that tomorrow" school of thought on everything). I feel there is a time issue for us, I had hoped our kids would be close in age, that's not happening, and I hoped to be done having kids by now, that's not happening. So I hope to get the adoption rolling ASAP since as we all know adoptions have a way of not going the way you hope or as fast as you hope, but at least we'll have things in motion.
Any advice?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sick Kitty
Our cat Winnie has been suffering from some sort of loss of balance from time to time. It really freaked us out at first! The first episode was about 8 months ago? I can't remember. But she just started falling all over the place. She looked drunk. A~ thought it was funny until he realized how concerned K~ and I were (it would've been funny if it wasn't so scary). Our cat has always "yacked" all the time. We called her the bulimic. But after one of her particularly bad episodes of falling, not eating, and listlessness we took her to the vet, the first question out of her mouth was has she been vomiting? To which we replied all the time, for her entire 11 years (and yes we told other vets, who said she just ate too fast). The vet thought it could still have something to do with her new illness and we agreed to run blood work. The vet said she had moderately raised levels, something to do with kidney function, and it could be causing some of her vomiting. Winnie was prescribed special soft cat food that would also help with her dehydration issues. I was doubtful she'd eat it, she's always hated soft food! Well she proved me wrong! It was as if she'd discovered cat chocolate. She loves the stuff, I'm not so fond of it, it stinks to hi-heaven and her breath smells. It made me gag for the first week, ugh... Now she just stalks the kitchen waiting, hoping, looking forlorn if we dare to enter and leave without giving her some of her new food. She has the most pathetic pouty face I've ever seen! We're only allowed to give her so much a day, but we supplement with the same prescription dry food in a separate bowl. Whenever we refill the hard food without refilling the wet food, she literally walks away in a huff! (On the plus side she rarely vomits anymore!)
This is also the cat that when K~ and I would go on vacation leaving my mom to watch her, would swear at my mother. Well, not real words ;-) but my mom would tell me how Winnie would give her a stern talking to every time she went over to feed Winnie "I tell you that cat is swearing at me!". And she'd usually do the same to us when we came home from a trip.
Anyway, I write all of this because Winnie's illness has taken another twist, last night all of a sudden her head listed to her right side. She couldn't move from her spot in the kitchen, she just sat there as if she was trying to look behind her. When I'd call her she'd move her ears but instead of looking to where I was she'd turn her head even more to the right. When she did get up her head remained looking right and she circled around and sat down, she did this several times only moving a few feet. After about 2 hours she started walking a little more straight but here head was still off kilter. K~ was so worried he stayed up and searched the net and found a great blog about what our poor little Winna-winna is going through. The first post at the bottom of the page has nearly 2 years worth of comments from fellow cat owners that are very helpful. So we are thinking that she has Feline vestibular syndrome (FVS) in fact the Vet had mentioned that this could be a possibility months ago, she said they have no clue what causes it, some cats get attacks and some are permanently altered in some way.
In fact today Winnie is fine for the most part. The attack may have been brought on by the weather, this weekend it was chilly and then 73 yesterday and chilly and cloudy today. I guess barometric pressure has something to do with it. Hopefully our little fluffy girl doesn't get too scared when she becomes crooked kitty.
This is also the cat that when K~ and I would go on vacation leaving my mom to watch her, would swear at my mother. Well, not real words ;-) but my mom would tell me how Winnie would give her a stern talking to every time she went over to feed Winnie "I tell you that cat is swearing at me!". And she'd usually do the same to us when we came home from a trip.
Anyway, I write all of this because Winnie's illness has taken another twist, last night all of a sudden her head listed to her right side. She couldn't move from her spot in the kitchen, she just sat there as if she was trying to look behind her. When I'd call her she'd move her ears but instead of looking to where I was she'd turn her head even more to the right. When she did get up her head remained looking right and she circled around and sat down, she did this several times only moving a few feet. After about 2 hours she started walking a little more straight but here head was still off kilter. K~ was so worried he stayed up and searched the net and found a great blog about what our poor little Winna-winna is going through. The first post at the bottom of the page has nearly 2 years worth of comments from fellow cat owners that are very helpful. So we are thinking that she has Feline vestibular syndrome (FVS) in fact the Vet had mentioned that this could be a possibility months ago, she said they have no clue what causes it, some cats get attacks and some are permanently altered in some way.
In fact today Winnie is fine for the most part. The attack may have been brought on by the weather, this weekend it was chilly and then 73 yesterday and chilly and cloudy today. I guess barometric pressure has something to do with it. Hopefully our little fluffy girl doesn't get too scared when she becomes crooked kitty.
A sad day.
I can't post and not mark this sad moment in history. As far as I know there have been 31 people killed by a gunman in Virginia. I'm sure everyone knows this by now. I feel that I needed to extend my deepest sympathies to anyone and everyone affected. It's so sad how people can hurt each other.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
growing, growing boy!
A~'s First Birthday with a HUGE cake!
Can't get enough cake mom!
A~ 2yrs old
3yrs!
4yrs!Has it already been a year since this?
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Preparing for a birthday
Hi!
We are trying to get the house in shape, or at least have it look nice, for A~'s bday on Saturday. He's going to be 5! He is the sweetest guy ever, and soooooo funny when it comes to his birthday! I'll admit he probably gets that from me. Dad's not a big fan of b-days. I'm more fond of planning other's birthday parties. Next year will be the big 4-0 for K~, he wouldn't let me throw a 30th b-day for him, but next year I am planning a party! (he even admitted years later he wishes he wouldn't have stopped me, so that gives me the green light, hahahahahaha!)
A~ has been talking about his b-day for months now, he has so many plans! He wants streamers, he picked the Pirates of the Caribbean theme, he's been talking about a pinata since last summer, and his latest thing- he's making cards to sell at his party to our relatives! He made a sign for his table "card selling character - praying for kids - selling on my birthday - cards" I had to write it exactly as he told it to me. Which I totally love, because it makes little sense! He's made 2 cards so far. One is a pop up and the other is a church with the sun shining and he cut fringe("frenches") all the way around it. A~ has an amazing vocabulary, he always has, his doctor, his teachers, and my friends always comment on it. So, I am in no hurry to correct any of the few adorable A~isms he has. He'll learn correct grammar soon enough. Too soon for me. One of my recent favs is: Coffee-ing (copying). I'll have to think of more and add them later. I used to write them on a calendar, or in my journal.
This is our 5th birthday with A~. His first bday was Winnie the pooh, and me not knowing anything about cakes, and the fact that the Barlow boys eat their weight in cake, we ordered a whole sheet cake. OMG! That's HUGE! It was the funniest thing, A~ in his highchair with an entire sheet cake in front of him! That was a first time mom moment if ever there was one. Oh and I made an iphoto dvd slide show of A~'s first year. Yeah, I've been meaning to do that for every year but somehow never quite got there. Then the theme was a home made mickey mouse cake, which looked great but tasted AWFUL! I am finally now able to have a sense of humor about it, but I had been very touchy about it until recently. In all honesty the thing if dropped would have put a dent in the floor. God love our family they suffered through it and ate their pieces, but no seconds, LOL! Then for his 3rd birthday it was the Incredibles (ala Target) and last year was a boxed cake(learned my lesson) because A~ wanted to bake it and decorate it, which he did and it turned out better than my mickey cake!
This year's cake is courtesy of Target and it's POTC, and A~ has let us know that he will be dressing up as Cap'n Jack for his party.
I promise I'll find photos.
Things that make me happy today:
A~isms: they make A~ seem smaller than he is and lets me pretend he's not growing up so fast.
Dark Chocolate: Gets me through a long boring day at work.
Birthdays: It's so much fun to celebrate someone you love.
We are trying to get the house in shape, or at least have it look nice, for A~'s bday on Saturday. He's going to be 5! He is the sweetest guy ever, and soooooo funny when it comes to his birthday! I'll admit he probably gets that from me. Dad's not a big fan of b-days. I'm more fond of planning other's birthday parties. Next year will be the big 4-0 for K~, he wouldn't let me throw a 30th b-day for him, but next year I am planning a party! (he even admitted years later he wishes he wouldn't have stopped me, so that gives me the green light, hahahahahaha!)
A~ has been talking about his b-day for months now, he has so many plans! He wants streamers, he picked the Pirates of the Caribbean theme, he's been talking about a pinata since last summer, and his latest thing- he's making cards to sell at his party to our relatives! He made a sign for his table "card selling character - praying for kids - selling on my birthday - cards" I had to write it exactly as he told it to me. Which I totally love, because it makes little sense! He's made 2 cards so far. One is a pop up and the other is a church with the sun shining and he cut fringe("frenches") all the way around it. A~ has an amazing vocabulary, he always has, his doctor, his teachers, and my friends always comment on it. So, I am in no hurry to correct any of the few adorable A~isms he has. He'll learn correct grammar soon enough. Too soon for me. One of my recent favs is: Coffee-ing (copying). I'll have to think of more and add them later. I used to write them on a calendar, or in my journal.
This is our 5th birthday with A~. His first bday was Winnie the pooh, and me not knowing anything about cakes, and the fact that the Barlow boys eat their weight in cake, we ordered a whole sheet cake. OMG! That's HUGE! It was the funniest thing, A~ in his highchair with an entire sheet cake in front of him! That was a first time mom moment if ever there was one. Oh and I made an iphoto dvd slide show of A~'s first year. Yeah, I've been meaning to do that for every year but somehow never quite got there. Then the theme was a home made mickey mouse cake, which looked great but tasted AWFUL! I am finally now able to have a sense of humor about it, but I had been very touchy about it until recently. In all honesty the thing if dropped would have put a dent in the floor. God love our family they suffered through it and ate their pieces, but no seconds, LOL! Then for his 3rd birthday it was the Incredibles (ala Target) and last year was a boxed cake(learned my lesson) because A~ wanted to bake it and decorate it, which he did and it turned out better than my mickey cake!
This year's cake is courtesy of Target and it's POTC, and A~ has let us know that he will be dressing up as Cap'n Jack for his party.
I promise I'll find photos.
Things that make me happy today:
A~isms: they make A~ seem smaller than he is and lets me pretend he's not growing up so fast.
Dark Chocolate: Gets me through a long boring day at work.
Birthdays: It's so much fun to celebrate someone you love.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Bittersweet Progress
Hi,
This weekend we had A~ head over to Nana's for a few hours for 2 days and managed to accomplish a lot. We now have an official office! A~ has stated several times that he doesn't care for it. I'm thinking it's because it was his bedroom and because it's not a playroom, but an office, so therefore must remain largely toy free. Bummer. ;-)
A~ is full of all sorts of adult like comments these days. Like telling daddy that he's had enough candy, which is phrased very loudly and in the middle of the candy isle at SuperTarget: "K~ that's enough now, you have just too too much candy all of the days!" (K~ has a sweet tooth) he also says "speaking of..." or "actually..." which cracks me up every time.
A~ has taken to playing big brother, which is his game he made up this weekend where I am his baby sister and he tucks me in "bed" on the couch he'll tell me sweetly that he is going to bed too but if I need him I can yell for him. So I yell or whine and say I'm scared, he then gives me a toy to hold to protect me, then he'll go back to his bed on the loveseat. If I'm too quiet and don't yell he checks on me anyway, then says "now you're mommy, mommy you need to yell more, okay now your my baby sister". He goes and lays down. I whine, yell, drop toy on the floor, he picks it up tucks me in then says sweetly, "now baby, I'm tired too, I'm trying to sleep, go to sleep." Ahhhh... wonder where he's heard that before? No, not me!
The office looks very nice. We used old paint we had from other rooms and mixed up a nice warm beige color. We bought some white paint for the trim. Off topic: white paint, why is it that the 2 times I've purchased white paint I have received a sarcastic comment from the paint guy? If you look at those paint chips there's about a thousand different colors of white, I picked whipped white, which had one drop of red and one drop of yellow in it. And the guy says "well there might be a little color to it, ha ha-ha ha" his tone was as if to say "really lady you're making me mix paint for this??" Yes I know, there's a little bit of color in it that's WHY I chose it! (and hey paint guy, have you looked in your paint department? If you have a problem with mixing white paint, you're in for a treat!) Thank god the office is done, now I have moved on to organizing and putting things away in big Rubbermaid containers.
The first items I packed away were all of the things we had purchased and received for Laurna. I nearly ended up in a puddle as I labeled the box. But I tried to keep thinking of this as temporary. It just feels so permanent. I keep wondering am I not thinking of something? Is there away we could continue even without K~'s job? Maybe I should ask more questions, but I'm not sure what questions I should be asking!
We finally have health insurance again! That is a huge load off my mind. And just in time for A~'s 5 yr check up. Boy was it difficult to get it though. We have MNcare, and they seem to take their sweet time no one even knew where the paperwork was for a month, then they asked for records twice. It's a good thing we started the process one month after he lost his job, it's been in process for 3 months! But we have it, and I can breath a little better and I'm soooo getting new glasses! (and a family teeth cleaning)
I'm going to try to find some before pictures of the house so I can post before and after pics.
Things that make me happy today:
Paint; I love how a coat of paint can change a room, and even your mood.
Health Insurance; getting it is hard, keeping it is necessary, COBRA is awful, and not having to worry is 'priceless'. ;-)
This weekend we had A~ head over to Nana's for a few hours for 2 days and managed to accomplish a lot. We now have an official office! A~ has stated several times that he doesn't care for it. I'm thinking it's because it was his bedroom and because it's not a playroom, but an office, so therefore must remain largely toy free. Bummer. ;-)
A~ is full of all sorts of adult like comments these days. Like telling daddy that he's had enough candy, which is phrased very loudly and in the middle of the candy isle at SuperTarget: "K~ that's enough now, you have just too too much candy all of the days!" (K~ has a sweet tooth) he also says "speaking of..." or "actually..." which cracks me up every time.
A~ has taken to playing big brother, which is his game he made up this weekend where I am his baby sister and he tucks me in "bed" on the couch he'll tell me sweetly that he is going to bed too but if I need him I can yell for him. So I yell or whine and say I'm scared, he then gives me a toy to hold to protect me, then he'll go back to his bed on the loveseat. If I'm too quiet and don't yell he checks on me anyway, then says "now you're mommy, mommy you need to yell more, okay now your my baby sister". He goes and lays down. I whine, yell, drop toy on the floor, he picks it up tucks me in then says sweetly, "now baby, I'm tired too, I'm trying to sleep, go to sleep." Ahhhh... wonder where he's heard that before? No, not me!
The office looks very nice. We used old paint we had from other rooms and mixed up a nice warm beige color. We bought some white paint for the trim. Off topic: white paint, why is it that the 2 times I've purchased white paint I have received a sarcastic comment from the paint guy? If you look at those paint chips there's about a thousand different colors of white, I picked whipped white, which had one drop of red and one drop of yellow in it. And the guy says "well there might be a little color to it, ha ha-ha ha" his tone was as if to say "really lady you're making me mix paint for this??" Yes I know, there's a little bit of color in it that's WHY I chose it! (and hey paint guy, have you looked in your paint department? If you have a problem with mixing white paint, you're in for a treat!) Thank god the office is done, now I have moved on to organizing and putting things away in big Rubbermaid containers.
The first items I packed away were all of the things we had purchased and received for Laurna. I nearly ended up in a puddle as I labeled the box. But I tried to keep thinking of this as temporary. It just feels so permanent. I keep wondering am I not thinking of something? Is there away we could continue even without K~'s job? Maybe I should ask more questions, but I'm not sure what questions I should be asking!
We finally have health insurance again! That is a huge load off my mind. And just in time for A~'s 5 yr check up. Boy was it difficult to get it though. We have MNcare, and they seem to take their sweet time no one even knew where the paperwork was for a month, then they asked for records twice. It's a good thing we started the process one month after he lost his job, it's been in process for 3 months! But we have it, and I can breath a little better and I'm soooo getting new glasses! (and a family teeth cleaning)
I'm going to try to find some before pictures of the house so I can post before and after pics.
Things that make me happy today:
Paint; I love how a coat of paint can change a room, and even your mood.
Health Insurance; getting it is hard, keeping it is necessary, COBRA is awful, and not having to worry is 'priceless'. ;-)
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