Pins and needles

That's how my life has felt the past few weeks.
I almost feel like walking up to people and introducing myself by saying "Hi I AM the CRAZY ADOPTION LADY!". Because that's how I feel. I'm sure my husband would agree. His eyes glaze over frequently when talking to me, or more like when I'm talking AT him. It'd be funny if it wasn't so NOT funny. I often wonder to myself was it my mission in life to be in odd situations in which I am perpetually explaining why I am doing X-Y-Z? Hmmm....
Okay, see I'm trying to be upbeat. I was going to be all squishy and gooshy, or make an effort. I just can't I'm sorry. I'm not that person. I mean I am that person usually, on a day to day basis. I am not all doom and gloom. I just really get upset when I see people taking advantage of other's misfortune, or fortune, depending on the occasion.
For instance, when we got married I did all of the work, I delegated some of it to K-, but by and large it was all me. Why? Well I wanted a wedding that was about us, and special and one that would be within our meager budget. I bought the magazines and read them through 2 times each, I clipped, I called places to have our wedding. When I mentioned it's a wedding they'd tack on hundreds, plus add on extras for catering and this and that, it was ridiculous! Then invitations, well, for a wedding they're a lot more! (has to be special and nothing's more special than something that costs twice as much, right?) So, I found a place that didn't charge more for weddings, we had an awesome place in St. Paul where F.Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald, mobsters and '30s movie stars stayed, and an original Art Deco bar, it was perfect. I did all of the invites by hand, we bought flowers at a farmers market, got my dress in the evening gown section at Nordstrom (way prettier than anything I saw at a bridal store) K- rented his tux. I did all of the silk flower arrangements for the tables. I think our wedding turned out great, and it cost under 9 thousand dollars! I had to work my butt off, and luckily I had options, I could choose another place or do things myself.
In adoption you don't have that choice. You can't simply switch. You can't do it yourself. And I personally think they take advantage. So bear with me as I will most likely wrestle with this for our entire adoption and then some. I really really wish there was someone to look out for adoptive parents. An agency that would keep adoption agencies in check, like the FDA for adoptions.

Well to end on a better note, I have received good news and I hope to be able to fill in the blanks soon. I also have been writing a post about faith I've been working on and I hope to post soon.

TTFN...